To Miss I-Have-The Worst-Life-Ever

Hello bitch! How are you? Just heard that your life is a mess right now, sorry for not feeling sorry at all. But then, try not to sabotage others' happiness okay? I'm not even talking about my life here. It would be so much easier if you were messing with mine. I could just hammer your fingers one by one, and peel off your toenails one by one, might as well shave off your hair(hell, you would thank me for that). Bumble bee knows I'm not supposed to know every cute little trick that you are pulling, but then you are not really subtle for an attention seeking person( I refrain from saying whore).
And oh, I am probably talking about you.

Yours sincerely.

The Food of My Soul

I love blogs. You can write any shit you want, fashion, food (oh i love food blogs), love (seriously?), music, novels, and you can take it as something to talk to, like me. *shrugs* Whatever, judge me to death, will you?

I don't keep a diary or a journal(although a journal like in Supernatural would be really cool). I like to talk, I like to share, but mostly the talking part. I just need someone to listen to me! And when I know someone somewhere will read about something i write somehow and it makes me feel less lonely, scratch that, it makes me feel fucking happy!

Here I want to share about my unhealthy appetite. I've been reading a lot of fan fictions lately, for about 4 months now. And I've readened, just kidding, read a lot about MxM pairings. Um, all MxM pairings. Mostly Merthur, plus some Janto(but they were already together in the show and Ianto died so no point to recreate a whole new plot). Still, mostly Merthur. Merlin's(and my) Arthur in shining armour and magical Merlin. Yea, judge me again, I have an army of fangirls, and no, you don't have a hulk. I'm hilarious.

Okay now define a lot. A lot as in a quarter of everything I've read is bookmarked, and three quarters poorly written stories, like making my Arthur a transman(no discrimination here, just don't like the idea of Bradley James having a v), are removed. So until today, I've bookmarked 141 amazingly written stories! *confetti* And only a few of them are less than 5k words. I am so proud of myself. I think I'm gonna cry. Oh. 

Some of the authors are more than amazing. They are so freaking talented that I wanna hug the air out of their lungs. I especially love those heart wrenching korean-drama-like stories. So so beautiful and they always make my tear ducts useful. And also shy and aggressive ones, Oh Oh Oh, I almost coo at my computer screen. I like shy yet romantic Arthur the most. *coos*. Sometimes I laugh so hard when I read the humourous ones. What can i say, fanfic writers are geniuses!

Just kiss already!

*gasps*

Merlin FanArt: WTF by Shin-ichi


OMG I'm kind of a pervert, am i not?
YAY.
Oh I love John Barrowman. *shakes fist*
I like Sungkyunkwan Scandal.
I made burnt cupcakes.
You go away.

Somebody To Love (by Queen, omg not JB, Queen)

Our beloved Anne Hathaway has a very cute cover in Ella Enchanted


Well well, this is one of my favourite songs since forever, until JB decided to ruin it's name by singing the same titled crappy song.
Yea, I feel pathetic needing to find someone to love. Yes right I love my family and friends. I mean the romantic kind. Not that I'm desperate, I really don't care. But recently I'm getting more and more obsessed with *drumsroll* well you get it *dying drumrolls* celebrities. My mind keeps telling me that it is fine, they are awesome, handsome, damn you Bradley James, stop giving me your shiny crooked smile. However, a tiny part of me, a very rational part of me, which is really tiny, reminds me that I need to get a life. I think instead of going gaga over someone so far away whose time is 8/12 hours later or 1/2 hours ahead of mine, why don't I just find someone to love to make my life easier. So I've decided, I'm falling in love with myself. I'm serious, I feel connected to the person in the mirror when I'm looking into it. 'I' know me, 'I' understand my obsession with gorgeous people. I blame BBC for making the best shows ever. Damn you Matt Smith and Benedict Cumberbatch. Oh don't think you can get away with it you John Barrowman and Gareth David-Lloyd. Neither do you Katie McGrath and Colin Morgan. Uh uh come here you Karen Gillan and Arthur Darvill. Hey you Freema Agyeman and David Tennant and your beautiful wife Georgia Moffett. Oops Michelle Ryan and Asa Butterfield my dear. And you gorgeous Alex Kingston. OKAY FINE I BLOODY LOVE YOU BBC!!! I am helpless anyway.

Right, it's the end of this senseless poppyloquy(? don't feel comfortable using this word even though it fits like a medieval gauntlet,...... ;D), thank you.


I kinda doubt my sanity sometimes, but insane people don't doubt their sanity. It totally kicks my doubts away.

A War With Angular Cheilitis

If you suffer from a long-term cracked, chapped, itchy, burning lips condition, congratulations, not, but I have a cure. It's a fight to the death but luckily, you will be the winner.

This is the first time I am discussing something more worthy than ever in my very senseless blog.
Until not long ago, I found out the nuisance on my lips actually had a name. Angular cheilitis. It is a pain in the ass, trust me, i know. I had it for almost a year. And my lips were never soft. They were chapped, burning, painful, dark, scaly, and most importantly, they hurt so bad especially at the sides of my mouth. It caused low self esteem and low confidence. I even experienced avoiding my crush for a whole day when it broke out. I dared not talk to anyone when it was at it worst. I tried a lot of lip balms through out the year, although some lip balms worked great to slow down the break out rate and even to control it, none of them helped to cure.  But guess what? Everything has a cure, and I am here to help you. I found it from a website, I altered the methods a bit and it works just great. Credits to that guy, he is actually a life saviour. Thank you.

First, you will need the followings.
Anti-bacterial soap(liquid or bar)

Petroleum jelly

Lip balm (Anything that you feel comfortable with but i like Burt's Bees, it's the best of all I've tried)

Vitamin B-complex(you can replace it with multivitamin, it will work just fine i guess) and multimineral supplements (no kidding)

Yea, that's all you need.
Now, choose a weekend when you are completely free and cancel all your dates. It's a treatment weekend. After breakfast, swallow the supplements with a glass full of water. Latter a good amount of anti-bacterial soap on your lips, take time to do this. Wash your hands, wash everything off and dry it. I suggest you to repeat the process. Use facial tissues to pat dry your lips, and be careful, every inch that you have touched your lips with is full of bacteria. I know it's not really environmental friendly but you have no choice. Make sure your lips are dry, not only the water but the moisture that comes out of no where, which i guess is what the bacteria produced to keep them safe and comfortable. When your lips are completely dry, apply a generous amount of petroleum jelly immediately with a clean hand to seal your lips from coming in contact with air. You will have very oily pout looking lips as if you had fried chickens in your whole life and never wiped it clean. It's fine, you can walk around and feel like a sexy model with a beautiful pout. Confidence is the key. Do anything you like but not with your mouth for two hours and then wipe it off. You will notice there are these yellowish flaky skin coming off with the Vaseline and congrats, you are getting rid of your enemies! Wipe off those skin or fungus gently until you feel clean. Have some refreshments and drink a big glass of water and continue the above procedures. You will get rid of it completely in two days or maybe in one if you are in luck! When the tight feeling is gone, your lips may be a little bit delicate. Apply your favourite lip balm and seal it with Vaseline, again. My lips are now softer than they ever was in just two days! *come my little friends as we all sing a happy chapped free song*

Warnings: Keep your lips dry except for petroleum jelly and never ever ever ever NEVER lick your lips ever again. Do not pick the scabs out of your lips especially not with your germs-full hands!

To be honest, I'm pretty much an ACV(apple cider vinegar) person. Everyone in my family worships vinegar, which is why I believe it can cure anything. Plus, vinegar is anti-bacterial and anti-fungal. I had fungal infections when I was a kid and vinegar actually saved me. So I believe organic acv can do anything, blindly. Or maybe I'm just too lohas haha. BUT, sorry to break your hope, acv does no good in dealing with angular cheilitis and in fact, it worsens your condition. I burned my lips again and again and again for god's sake and it hurt real bad. So, no acv.

And no, if you think this is an allergic reaction, it is not. I thought it was, too. I had no history of allergies. The only once I had it was really random and I have no idea what caused it, I could barely turn a door knob that time.

I did not seek for medical treatment because I knew the doctors would say it was and allergy which deep down i knew it was not. I am not saying I am better than a doctor. Angular cheilitis is very hard to be identified per se. But most importantly, I felt embarrassed because it looked like I was not hygienic and I really like my doctor, he is a heartthrob. Angular cheilitis is not a sign of being unhygienic, we are just the unfortunate ones.

Luckily, angular cheilitis is not contagious. Most angular cheilitis is caused by, believe it or not, nutritional deficiency, not hygiene. Your body may be lack of vitamin B2, iron or zinc. I have a long history of anemia and i hate to take supplements. Which explains what happened to me can be a sign of nutritional deficiency. Again, I believed we can get enough nutrients from daily meals and maybe i was wrong. It shocked my mother when I took all the supplement she'd been forcing me to have for ages. You see, I have to give up things that i believed in to combat angular cheilitis. Moral value! Sometimes, you just have to give up things that you value for the greater good.

I hope you find my article helpful, but first of all, I hope you find it, because I swear by this treatment. I suggest you to routinize this, let's say every night before bed, or if you are lazy, every week. The same old words, prevention is better than cure, right? I might take my supplements once in a week. Try to avoid using more than 2 pieces of tissue every time, say to be environmental friendly. And if you can, improve it and help others who suffer from angular cheilitis too.

All the best and good luck!

Empathy sucks

I empathize a lot, in fact, a little too much. I feel sad for every bad thing that happens on, not me, but the people around me. Worst of all, they don't need the slightest sympathy, but my malfunction brain will act like a super retarded empathetic machine that makes me feel bad for them. When no event that happens is actually sad, I can extract some sadness from it too. I will get touchy and start to think the worst out of everything and that makes me always have the sudden urge to cry. I don't even know how to describe this. I know, it's none of my god damn business to get emotionally depressed for someone, worse, someone I don't know. I'm not saying that I'm an angel or whatsoever okay. Who the hell would want someone to feel bad for them, right? I hate it, and I hate myself for doing it. I simply hate empathizing.

I Am Finally Me Again

I was once lost, but I kinda feel like myself lately. It's a good thing huh? I don't live for anyone and nobody can manipulate my life, anymore. I am completely bound to my own decisions, no more frenemies, no, frenemy is definitely an understatement, but yea, whatever it is, I am out! Life is not hard, it's always us who make life unbearable and miserable. I've been doing okay like, talking to people that I feel comfortable with, doing things that I want to do. I don't care what people say about me, and I don't even care what people think about me. I am so not doing anything to impress you, it's my life I'm living, not yours. If you live to judge, so be it.

Restless Night

My heart beats like a drum every time I think of the glares.
I always hate people who shout when they are on the up side.
People who shout for something that is totally none of their business are far more annoying.
However, what I hate the most is malicious looking man who smiles and talks to you in a threatening tone as if you murdered his whole family and he is seeking revenge, but in fact, he is just a random nosy stranger who happens to be a big bully.
I've made amendments, but the glares still haunt me as if I did not admit my wrong doings.
Dear stranger, do mind your own business next time because the damages you caused are worse than what I did, which the caused damages were actually on lifeless objects. I do feel sorry for what I did and I took responsibility of it like an adult with a good amount of conscience. But what you did was inconsiderate, random and nothing but mental torture and blimey, you were actually just a passerby in the whole incident! But now, you left a deep wound that will never heal in a girl's heart, who might not be as tough as she used to think she was.
Spare me, nosy strangers, the next time something happens out of your control range, just leave me alone. Because that is so not cute!